To Live and Be OK with Having Lived

8/11 Escapism

I just remembered a bar/grill that was open late until 2pm at my college. There’s quietness but also commotion knowing that people are up at this hour. I *think* I’ll order a strawberry milkshake and wait a really long time for it to be made. Of course, I can't really do that now.

8/12 Drawing

Been drawing more lately! I go through periods where I really hate it. I think I don’t hate it today. It feels peaceful. I think sometimes I lose sight of who I am and I wish it was more consistent.

8/12 Fortune

“You may have a fantastic opportunity soon — be open to it.” I wonder if this opportunity is just me having a paradigm shift. Somehow, I know that is coming…Or is it a real, “seize the opportunity” kind of thing? Please do tell me!!

8/13 Superstition

Before I stepped outside today, I had a brief moment where I debated changing the daily shoes I wear. I paused and looked. I decided against it. It felt like a change would somehow bring back luck. No, I wouldn’t risk it. Perhaps I’ve been a bit superstitious!

8/13 Waiting

Sometimes I feel like I waste my time waiting. Perhaps it’s good if the waiting lets me learn something, but sometimes it doesn’t. Is it really that much disimilar to doomscrolling? Hmm… I wish I was out enjoying life! Maybe soon I will.

8/14 Routine

Good morning! There is something dreadful about routine… or perhaps numbing. I look for ways to feel more alive before starting the day. I’m grateful for my 10 minute walk to school. I want to wake up and have time to compose myself, to break a routine. It’s the moment you stare down the edge of a pool waiting to take a cold plunge. You do it everyday, but there’s slight variations in how.

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